There are many theories about raising children in more than one language, especially en USA which is so full of immigrants from all parts of the world. Many years ago immigrants used to raise their children in English for fear that their children could not integrate into society, that they could be rejected or laugh upon. There was so much desire to be included that they made an effort to erase any trace of the culture they brought to this country.

Over time this started to change and nowadays there is a tendency to celebrate the difference, the culture inherited from our ancestors. It’s even "cool" to have a family with non-American ancestors, to talk with an accent or to have ethnic features; you only need to watch the iPod commercials on TV. Everybody is digging in his or her past, looking for something to be different, special, claiming their belonging to other culture, Irish, Russian, Latin, Native American, etc. It doesn’t mean that there are no prejudices or discrimination, there still are, but it’s also true that today there is more discrimination for economical background than for the culture you come from.

Regarding the matter of a second or a third language, it’s widely known that the more languages you know, the more advantages you have in this globalized world, and more connections inside your brain increasing your intelligence. All those theories that said that children get confused, that they can’t integrate or that they have learning problems, are only that, theories, and not good ones.

We raised our child bilingually without any problems and without worrying about the "method". Books about bilingualism are full of recipes: "one parent should speak in the native language and the other in the language of the country", "first you have to teach the language of the country then the one of the parents so the child can integrate", etc. What I can say regarding of my own experience is that you have to trust your intuition, what is natural to you, without forcing anything. We speak in Spanish to our son just because it is what comes natural to us, it’s the way in which I can communicate completely; it is weird for me to deliver my thoughts, wishes and feelings in a language that is not native to me, it is like swimming against the flow; yo can do it but it’s sort of unnatural. For me the most important thing is to raise my child with love, everything else is secondary and he will get there anyway. It is like the usual competition between parents to see which child walks first, or talks first, etc, when we all know that after certain age we are all in the same level and that precocity means nothing, specially to tell if a person is going to be happy.

Dylan watched TV in English, related with the outside world in English and when he started school he went to a public one just like any other kid, where he got his fluency in English. We taught him words and basic sentences in English but most of the time our communication was in Spanish. Many people watched in horror and advised us not to do that because they said we where going to cause an integration and learning problem. But you know what? They were wrong! Dylan is totally fluent in both languages and has friends of many origins and he can communicate perfectly with our family in Argentina.
You never have to deny nature, what feels right and natural to you as a parent, intuition and common sense are the most important things when you raise a child.
And besides, over time, we ourselves became totally bilingual without realizing it because it was the natural process of living here. You might ask if sometimes there are mix-ups, confusions, Spanglish. Of course! So what? Doesn’t this make life more fun?

And now the thing is to see what are we going to do with the challenge of being trilingual. Well, it’s going to be what comes natural to us when time comes. Right now I think I would love to learn Amharic as much as I can and be able to teach my children the basics in the same way I did with English and later they can relate with people of the Ethiopian community to learn more, if possible and if they want to, but nothing is going to be forced. If that doesn’t work out, we are going to be bilingual. Who knows, maybe in the future they marry a Russian or a Chinese and we end up being super multilingual.

For those you want to learn more about the subject of bilingualism in families, here is a list of books:
The Bilingual Family: A Handbook for Parents  by Edith Harding-Esch and Philip Riley 
The Bilingual Edge: Why, When, and How to Teach Your Child a Second Language by Kendal King and Allison Mackey
Parents’ and Teachers’ Guide to Bilingualism by Colin Baker
Guia Para Padres Y Maestros De Ninos Bilingües by Alma Flor Ada and Colin Baker (in Spanish)

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